What exactly is lube and why do you have like 10 bottles of it?
by ShadowDianne
Summary: Prompt made via tumblr by anon; Henry asks the real questions...


**Note: Since I think Henry at the age of fourteen/fifteen can know by now what lube is just pretend with me that's slightly younger.**

Emma sneezed for the umpteenth time that evening moaning pathetically as she tried to not wake up the soundly sleeping brunette at her side. Both women were on the living room of the mansion, comfortably tucked on the coach that presided the room and while it had been Regina's idea to see some of her romantic comedy films that were her not so secret guilty pleasure the former queen had quickly fallen asleep on Emma's arm after the first fifteen minutes of the film, a soft snore escaping her lips from time to time. As the film went by Regina's head had passed from being on the blonde's shoulder to be happily nestled in her lap making the blonde her prisoner.

Emma smiled softly at her wife while trying to keep her sneezes at bay silently hating spring and the allergies that had hit her a week before and had refused to leave her side no matter how much medicine she took. Making a face while trying not to sneeze on the sleeping brunette and consequently waking her up she waved at Henry who was seated at the other side of the room reading some comics.

"Kid" She managed to say before her running nose tickled once again. Sneezing as silently as possible she called him once again and pointed towards the stairs with the hand she wasn't currently using as a handkerchief. "Please, can you go and take a pill from my night table? If your mother wakes up I'm not going to know how is breathing normally ever again"

Chuckling, the boy nodded and stood, carefully laying the comic down like the nerd Emma knew he was.

"And a piece of paper it would also be perfect" She said while pointing at her red nose and this time the boy made a disgusted face before disappearing.

Smiling, Emma returned to the film in where the guy was about to ask for forgiveness for whatever he had screwed up this time. Emma wasn't exactly a fan of RomCom but she knew that they were always about practically the same thing so she sighed and proceeded to listen to the speech that it would probably make the girl in the film kiss the boy with a teary music behind them. Trying not cough she glanced at her wife and amusedly rolled her eyes thinking what would her mother say if she knew about Regina's guilty pleasure.

"Probably nothing" She decided before sneezing again. Just as she started to think that Henry had been kidnapped again due to the time he was taking on grabbing a simple pill and a piece of toilet paper the boy entered the room with the pill the paper and a curious expression on his face.

Emma smiled at her son and took the pill from his hand as quickly as she could without making any sudden move. Just about she was ready to gulp the pill down the boy talked, his eyes focused on his blonde mother like when he had been younger and he had requested her to listen to the last scheme he had thought of in their operations.

"What exactly is lube and why do you have like 10 bottles of it?"

Emma's jaw fell for a second before her running nose decided in that slipt second that she needed to sneeze eliciting a full body tremble that effectively put Regina out of her sleep.

While the brunette woman groaned and swatted the blonde's closest limb Emma spluttered as she felt the beginning of a full body blush starting to grown in her cheeks.

"What… what are you talking about?" She said already thinking of how Henry could know about the lube and if Regina was going to kill her now or if it was a better option to kill herself while she could.

"Yes" The boy repeated louder this time "You have like 10 bottles of the stuff in your second drawer."

"I'm too young to die" Emma thought and seeing that Regina seemed to keep trying to be on la la land she sighed and carefully shook the woman's arm making Regina growl before opening her eyes sleepily. If she was going down she was going to take Regina with her, no matter what.

"Miss Swan I swear to gods that if you keep doing this you are going to find yourself in this very same couch this night"

Emma was about to explain the situation to the sleepy brunette when Henry, as polite as her brunette mother had taught him to be, asked the damned question once again.

"I was asking ma what is lube, it's some sort of medicine?"

It was Regina to look completely dumbstruck as she tried to straight herself on the coach while running her hands through her slightly messy hair.

"Dear, why are you asking this?"

Henry, who looked a little bit lost because of his mothers reactions to what he thought was a completely valid question shrugged and pointed upstairs.

"Ma asked me to go for a pill but I didn't find them at first so I tried to open the second drawer of her night table and I found ten bottles of it"

Emma could feel Regina's eyes making holes in her body and groaned inwardly when she recalled that last night she had fallen asleep after the mind blowing orgasm Regina had given her and that morning she had forgotten to close the second drawer like she usually do.

Glancing at the brunette she bit her lip and tried to apologize as best as she could with her pleading eyes while Henry kept looking at them growing impatient. For him the question was an easy one and unless his brunette mother was performing dark magic again he didn't understood the importance of keeping him in the dark about something that was obviously useful since Emma had ten bottles of it.

"Henry" Regina finally said straightening on the coach and putting her hands carefully folded in her lap as if she was preparing herself for a political speech in front of the city. "What you saw is something very… intimate that your mother should have kept better eye on it"

Emma closed her eyes in mortification, still not knowing what to say to Henry and happily letting Regina explain all the embarrassing parts of it.

"But since you saw it" Regina continued while sighing at her wife's theatrics "The lube, or lubricant, is a… liquid that can help in some… occasions while performing sex, you remember when I told you about sex, don't you?"

Henry nodded proud of himself for remembering that talk even if he had felt slightly funny afterwards.

"Well" Regina said while nudging Emma's leg as subtly as she could "The lube helps to make the experience to be… better or just to try… something different"

"So it's something good" The boy concluded "That's why you have so much of it, ma?"

Emma nodded after another nudge from Regina and when it looked like the brunette wasn't going to help this time she sighed and coughed, forgetting her allergies for a moment and the way her nose was already tickling her once again.

"Yes, there are many different kinds of lube and as your mother had told you they can be… useful" Blushing and silently wanting to disappear she continued eliciting a small nod from Regina at her side. "That's why I have ten bottles of them but kid, you should have come down here and ask me where the pills where ok? That second drawer is usually closed for a reason"

Henry blushed at that and looked at his feet before nodding.

"I know, but you looked ready to die with all those sneezes, I'm sorry"

Regina smiled at the boy while Emma closed her eyes once again and as the kid returned to her comics the brunette leaned towards the younger woman.

"Next time you are going to be the one who explains him, got it?"

Emma shrugged and sighed.

"I know" She whispered "But he came and asked me about it and I…"

"Sht" Regina shushed sternly "Next time it's all yours, now let me finish my nap because I'm still considering letting you sleep here this night… and I was really thinking on the strap-on for tonight"

Growling and blushing with the image Regina had created for her Emma nodded and let the brunette woman close her eyes after putting her head on her lap.

"At least I'm not dead" She thought and just then another sneeze went through her body making it tremble. Both Henry and Regina look at her slightly worried from their seats, Regina raising an eyebrow as Henry finally laughed slightly at his blonde mother's scared face "At least for now" Said woman muttered under her breath when Regina's eyes changed from concerned to slightly mischievous.


End file.
